hmmmm...

after a slight pause with a lot of stuff, i've the will to actually post yet another entry. things have been going great lately, much has changed.


Freelance

I'm once again back in the world of freelancing. Doing stuff for other people without the steady (and secure) influx of the corporate world is liberating but a tad frustrating as well. It gives me much pleasure to not be tied to the "norms" but at the same time, my wallet yearns for the financial security it once had.

fair trade i guess.


Paradigm Shift

A good friend of mine asked me, "Quincy, why the sudden shift to 'radio' and '(character)dubbing'?" and i was like, "hmmmm... *shrug*" I guess i wasn't really ready to tackle the question just yet.

I gave a lame answer, that i felt i was always a 'voice'; because most of the work i love doing requires me to use my vocals or my hands. So it's great to be on new ground and to try out something different aside from my comfort zone. at least that's the generic answer.

looking deeper, i think it's more of a paradigm shift of sorts for me. i wanted to "escape" what i knew; move on and get free from 'who people thought i was'. not in exact sense, but something like that. in the world of voice acting, you can be any character because no one will associate a face to the voice; or perhaps the face would change every time. i grow weary of trying to be the nice guy for once, and i'm longing to have a change of character. i'm not saying it's a bad idea to be the nice guy, i just don't want to be labeled as just that. but i guess, this should be for an entirely different entry.

going back to the point, it's more of getting to reinvent myself. I feel i haven't reinvented myself in a long time, and it would be great if i were given the chance again. tabula rasa.


Timing

Sometimes i'd think that God's a big, wise prankster. You'd pray for something, He won't give it to you... yet. And once he finally gives it to you, he does in such a way that you'll take everything you've learned and experienced and shove it down the trash. It's like, "You're praying for a pie? not yet. Oh, ok, here's the pie now... but you can't eat it. Ok you're going to eat it, but there's no taste yet...!"

stop right there.

I'm not being bitter. well i guess i am. honestly, i don't really mean exactly what i just wrote. it's wrong and it's improper. I just find it frustrating to be placed in a point where i'd have the privilege of finally doing what i want, except that i can't. sorry lord. but i know, that in that wise, wise mind of yours, you have something in store for me. I know it.

Grant me peace.


Cement Mixer

the human connection is a marvelous and flawed invention. It gives you the ability to genuinely connect with someone, but as you're drawn closer, it shrinks the passage, and you're given the challenge: to choke or to take it as it comes. In a week's time, strong connections are bolstered, new ones are nurtured; time, it seems, is the only real remedy for its imperfection.

the experience two weeks ago has left me in a perpetual state of longing and semi-sorta-happy. it has shown me that the distance between two people is only as far or near as his next conversation. the wonder of technology taught me that. but as all things are, it should be a decision; uncertainty, half-bakedness is not an option: it's either all, or nothing at all.

Bihag ng 'yong matamis na ngiti,
na sa tuwing mga mata mo'y sumasaglit
pagod ko'y napapawi, lakas ay nanunumbalik;
takot ay dagliang nawawaglit

Nakakulong sa piitan ng 'yong mga kamay,
tila bagang sedang malimit na mahagkan
at nahabi upang magdulot ng panibagong buhay
sa isang baro, bagong saplot sa paligid ng karimlan