Clearing out, Cleaning up

Last monday i finally went and did what i was aiming to do for the past couple of months: I decided to resign.

Perhaps not as final as that may sound, but i decided to leave the company i worked with for almost two years. Technically, i didn't "leave", i only shifted contracts from a full-time employee to a project-based one. i don't want to make up a bullshit reason for my action, but it's mostly because i outgrew it; it's something i see myself doing, but not in the manner they see me as. And so, last monday was clear-out-your-desk day.

I expected it to be a breeze... believe me it's not. It felt as if there's an awkward space (insert cricket noise here) somewhere that's telling me, "hey, pack up quickly and go..." it's a negative energy that makes you feel unneeded, unwanted and used. but of course, usually, it's normally you giving out the vibe.

Nonetheless, clearing out my desk entailed seeing old pictures, files, evaluation forms, etc. It triggered memories, most of them worth remembering and made me somewhat sentimental about it all. Nakakalungkot din pala.

but things eventually move on and up; onward and upward. why should i be any different? move on na quince, move on na.

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I can't describe how i'm feeling right at this moment. it's like i'm happy but bummed out at the same time.

i think i now know why the unstoppable force cannot co-exist with an immovable object.