I have no idea what's with today. no idea at all.

it feels weird... awkward; not in the general sense of the word, just "feels" like it. I don't know if i'm making sense though.

since thursday last week, my mind's been, quite frankly, fucked up. I hate thinking, but i can't help myself. maybe it's the paranoia sinking in; maybe it's something else entirely. maybe it's the unusual state i'm in, maybe it's, i really don't know.

my mind's a friggin' blank.

it's like i'm shooting at stars with a shotgun loaded with water.

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i know this is frustration going overdrive when i can't even WRITE IT OUT.
Words seem louder when they CAN'T escape you. Emotions feel more REAL, when they can't be expressed. SILENCE is a scream when you don't expect it; a SHRUG can feel like a punch, if timed at the right moment, and a MASSAGE can sometimes be more beneficial to the masseur.

sometimes i just wish i had ALL THE WORDS.