i've been thinking about the whole situation these past few days, and today is quite the culmination of it. You obviously loathe the whole idea, else you won't react in such distaste. But with the way things are turning out, i don't think i deserve any of this anymore. Putting up with someone can be a pain, especially if that someone is a person you care deeply for, who for some obscure reason, wouldn't care less about you - at least not now.

If i were to put things in black and white, i'd say i have my share of shortcomings and personal faults. Everyone has them, and i won't even start to enumerate. Mga pagkukulang 'yan na kailangan punuan o napupunuan naman ng iba. But to treat someone - a friend supposedly - with such loathing, with a degree of enmity for just saying what he felt at the moment; not demanding or expecting or forcing himself onto you, is no longer considered mean, but plain cruel.

I'm coming to my defense here because since you won't speak to me, and want nothing to do at all with me, i feel i'm traversing a one-way street. I'm defending myself because i don't think i deserve all that hate, especially if i've really not done anything to hurt.

one of the reasons why i told you is because i THOUGHT you, of all people, would be mature enough to grasp the idea. I thought that we could be 'adults' about it and move on; that there would of course be awkwardness, but nothing even remotely close to what crap you're giving me now. fine, you have personal issues and i just had to add to that. but i never went around bashing you for reacting. i never posted entries aimed to hurt. if you CAN'T tell me, might as well have the decency to keep quiet about it. fine, call me ASSUMING, whatever. I'm sure you'll say that you never named anyone in your posts. tell it to my face that I'm NOT the one you're talking about.

of all the people, i wouldn't have expected this from you. i would've appreciated a simple, "no, i'm sorry but i don't like you in that way." or even a simple "sorry, but no." but you opted for the elaborate cryptic shit. you found it amusing to be 'evil'. you think you're the only one on the edge? and that gives you all the right to do / say as you please? It's actually funny to expect an adult reaction from someone who refuses to be one.

I won't write anything more for fear that i might say something that would do more damage than good. you of all people should know that. if you don't want anything to do about me, fine. i can deal with that. at least i can say i've said my piece and had the guts to tell it straight.

I guess i never really knew who you were at all.