i'm talking to you.

I find myself annoying sometimes.

I don't know if I see myself in the third person on those occasions, but really, I sometimes tick myself off so hard that I could readily punch myself (and I would too if it didn't look too weird). I guess sometimes, people just hate themselves so much, especially when they can't come to terms with the root of the bother.

I can't face you. I can't even face me.

I saw you sleeping, and there was this half of me wanting to put my jacket over you, but that would really look awfully awkward (not to mention superbly questionable). I saw you sleeping and I was somewhat "happy" (?). I really can't explain why. You just looked so "at ease" with everything (but let's not go there, because you see ME sleeping all the time and there's no "at ease" written anywhere. haha.).

A friend told me not long ago to hide this blog. I mean really hide it, so that you won't see it, if you happen to be passing through. I really don't know if you've read my entries yet, but if that's the case, then read this, this is me telling you, in the language and medium you're most familiar with: I'm in love with you. Don't ask me why, because I don't want to attach a rationale to it. Don't ask me how, because it just happened. Don't worry, i'm not expecting anything. Nothing. This is just to let you know, in case you read this first before I come up with the balls to tell you (which is most probably going to be the case, but i'm crossing my fingers that it's not).

you know i'm terrible with these things. utterly terrible. I disgust myself sometimes.

So there. I'm not going to tell you to let this pass, if in case you read it. I'm not even going to be surprised if one day you start acting weird because some guy pledges love in a blog instead of facing you, which is the normal thing to do (well, that's also in the works. this is probably the "plan b" i was thinking off. I really hope it doesn't convert into "plan a" which is also a possibility.). But knowing you, you won't even say a word, or do something that would tell me you've read it. i've said it.

hopefully, I'd be able to see it coming so that i don't make a complete fool out of myself.

Note to self: take it easy brother, take it easy.